Author's Note: Recently, I have been fascinated by a debate in Soompi about how JGS and PSH suit each other, personality-wise. How can an outgoing, fiery Leo be with a quiet, shy, sensitive Aquarius? The discussion fascinated me because I love how fans gave a diversified analysis of JGS's and PSH's personalities and how they collide or complement one another, depending on what perspective you take. So I decided to write about another perspective on this seemingly unending story we have of this two. I put everything I have written so far in this blog/fanfic on reset and started on the point where every love story -- potential, successful, failed -- takes its roots ---- Uncertainties.
If I Keep My Heart Out of Sight
Keun Suk’s Story
It’s late but sleep is the farthest thing away from my mind right now. Outside, it is snowing like crazy and it feels good not to have anything up in my schedule tomorrow. At least, I can wake up late and sleep as long as I want to without having to drag myself off the bed. For a change. The past week had been a crazy and frenzy hustle of activities that I am so glad I pulled it through, even with a bad case of colds. The cold weather is really getting nastier by the minute, especially for my health.
I had just helped myself out of Omma’s delicious leftover soup from last night’s dinner and I’m so full I know I should not sleep even if I want to. But a lot of things are keeping my mind busy, anyway, so getting to bed on a full stomach is the least of my worries right now. What worries me really is what I am reading right now on my screen --- fans getting worked up because “Jang Keun Suk snubbed Park Shin Hye at awards night!” So, it was that obvious, huh? “Are they having a lover’s quarrel?” Now that is a smooth but quick assumption! “Why so rude to her, Keun Suk?” “What is happening between JGS and PSH?”
Ah, these reactions are the exact reasons why I know I did the right thing that night. People are really getting so excited about me and Shin Hye that I know it was up to me to mellow things down and let the public eye stray away from her and myself. Especially from her. She has already been getting uncomfortable lately about talks between her and me. And I really feel guilty and embarrassed that I fanned the flames of “our love story” more, by talking about Omma’s fondness of her and that matchmaking she did for Shin Hye and me in public. It was a cute story I wanted to share for our fans but I guess it only gave strength to speculations about us even more. Shin Hye never said anything but I know that all these speculations about me liking her, or she liking me, or we dating each other, are making her uneasy. She is a private person who values her privacy a lot. And I totally understand where she is coming from. Being in the limelight is not easy even to us who have been in the business since we were young. People might think that we should at least have been used to it by now but we are normal people, too. And normal people do not want to have everybody else breathing down their necks 24/7, gawking at them, waiting for their next move, getting ahead of their own feelings, and having their personal affairs as fodder for gossip.
Especially when personal feelings and relationships are already involved.
I have always been open to everyone about what is going on in my life. My fans can attest to that. I am not selfish with information about me because I know I am a public figure. If it fascinates the public to know my whereabouts, my thoughts, my friends, my latest projects, interests, etc. so be it. I let them know everything. I am willing to share everything. I do not lie and if there’s something I can be proud of myself is that I am for real. What you see is what you get. People know that I smoke. People are aware that I go to clubs and I love to party. I do not deny those things unlike what others do. I let them see the good and not so good parts of me because that is who I am. I am human just like everyone else. And if I make mistakes, I am just being normal. I do not need to apologize for that.
But there are things that, although I do not hide, I also choose not to reveal out in the open because they are already too personal for me to share. The names and identities of girls I dated, places where I spend my holidays, or my exact home address are things I do not blurt out on national TV and magazine interviews. These are things I expect my fans not to stalk or stick their noses on out of respect for my privacy. And so far, except for a few, they all have been really cooperative about it.
I wish I could tell them right now what really is going on with me and Shin Hye so they could stop speculating or defending me against those who think that I have been rude to her at the awards. But how could I explain to them something which I myself cannot exactly figure out, much more understand?
Who is Shin Hye to me? Are we even dating? Is she my ideal type? Does she like me? Do I like her? Am I a player? Are we more than friends?
The questions are endless that I know a two-hour fan meeting would not even be enough to accommodate them. If they know what is really going on right now they would probably just laugh in frustration and maybe, anticipation. The dongsaengs will surely pull their hair out of my own confusion and indecision, or the noonas may understand me more, being more mature in life and all. But one thing I am sure of, if their reactions so far are to be a gauge, is that I will have their support on this one.
~0o0~
...to be continued
6 comments:
aaaawwwww.....anticipation is rising...thanks!
omg!cant wait.. pls continue making fanfic about them..thankss!
It really like hearing JGS inner voice, I like your imagination here, about JGS uncertainity of his relationship with PSH...in this chapter you didnt write it clearly, you gives ambiguity feeling about their relationship, and I think it was good since we dont know the real score between them, we as a fans can only guessing and try to satisfied our curiousity with our wild imagination hehehhehe....
I think with all chapters you already write about JGS and PSH couple...for me this chapter is the most close with reality...good job Jossa
Can not wait to read about PSH side view...
not done with Keun Suk's yet guys...stay tuned!
Oooh didn't come for a while alr..... V nice! :) Staying tuned hahaha.
You know, the cliffhanger make it feel as if we are watching the episode from a drama. I like it. It's fun to be in anticipation for a pending story. ;)
About my impressions I agree with all that had been said by Agustien. You made him appear for what he really is: and very young boy, even if he could look more mature on the surface. But I guess everybody has his fears and uncertainties when it comes to love.
I've just a doubt, I don't understand if they are in a relationship or not here. Anyway, if you say that there have been a reset I'll give it for granted.
ps. After the double fic about the SBS awards, and this one too, I must say that I really appreciate the idea of the "different point of view for the same story". I hope you are going to write more of these. Maybe some insight about the making of the bed scene? [Just wondering ^^)
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