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Sweet Nothings
3 years ago
Monday, March 29, 2010
About Last Night
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Learning You
This is one mushy crap. But aren't we all a pile of mashed potatoes when we are in love? Track inspiration - Deeper Conversations by Yuna
Learning You
I see you flash your disarming smile -- that smile that never fails to quicken the pulse of millions of fangirls in all of Korea, and quite possibly, every girl in the world who ever laid eyes on you—and I fight the urge to succumb to your spell…yet again.
You probably think I’m enjoying being coy, don’t you? You might think I am just playing hard-to-get just to pique your curiosity and to amp my appeal, for lack of a better word, to you. Do you think I love not giving in to your charm, oppa? Do you really feel I’m oblivious to all that heart-melting charm every sane girl in her right mind would kill anything for?
Well, I don’t. Every time you smile at me, I melt. My knees turn into mush and butterflies just flutter wildly in my stomach. Every time you call my name, it feels like you are uttering a prayer for me. I have never liked hearing my name on someone else’s lips that much before. Your pretty face never leaves my mind these days, or to put it more frankly, these past few months. You are all I can think of. You have monopolized all my senses, oppa. I can even taste your kisses – those on-screen kisses that felt so real – in my dreams. And yes, even my nightmares involve you now. The sight of you kissing, marrying, wooing, or, heaven forbid, making babies with, another girl never fails to leave me whimpering in my sleep at night.
When you said, “I think, ani, I feel, I’m falling for you more and more each day…” for the first time, did you honestly think I went to sleep peacefully on that winter night in December? Did you really think it was so easy for me to form the words “Let’s take things slow” when your eyes were trying so successfully to make my heart changed its mind? Did you not realize how I was holding my breath the whole time we were facing each other that moment, afraid that if I let out even a single gasp of air, my heart would come tumbling out of my mouth and betray me? Did you not hear the silent protests of the irrational part of me, asking my sensibilities to back off for once and just let us both take off at the point where the drama, and the characters we portrayed, left us?
It was so easy to just give in to both our feelings that night, oppa. It was so easy yet it was also very dangerous.
Because you see, I have always been ready to fall for you, no questions about that. The only thing I knew I was not prepared to do was to deal with the heartbreak. A heartbreak that I knew would always come sooner than expected to such a story as ours.
To tell you to wait for our feelings to sort themselves out naturally was the dumbest thing I ever told any guy I like and the craziest risk I ever pulled in my entire life. No one comes close to it. Ever.
It was dumb because no girl in her right mind could just turn down a chance to date Jang Geun Suk and expect a second chance, right? It is like deliberately losing a winning lottery ticket on your way to claim your prize then expecting that the same stroke of luck would be given to you the next time you buy another ticket. It was a crazy risk because I did not know what the future holds. Feelings change and people do, more so. Would you always feel those things for me? Would I always be the object of your affection? I didn’t know. I was tempting fate and I was mad to do that, I know. But it has to be done.
Because I wanted our feelings to be real. I wanted to make sure that if and when I would hand over my heart for you to keep or break, I would be doing so for all the right reasons, real reasons. And not just because of some emotional debris churned from a 16-episode trendy drama belonging to our portfolios.
I want you to discover me little by little. I want you to see me past the boyish bob I sported in the drama. That’s one of the reasons I started wearing wigs, by the way. I’d like to erase the face of Mi Nam
In turn, I would like to learn more about you. I would love to dig deeper on that pretty, flower boy image of yours. I have already learned a lot about you these past few months, thanks to your transparent and easy-going nature. I love your honesty, your openness, your humor, your friendly disposition and your infectious charisma. I have already fallen for that, hook, line and sinker. But I also want to discover the darker side of you and see if my heart can also accept that with the rest of the things I love about you.
I want to know if you snore in your sleep so I can educate myself about the side effects and cure of snoring and share it with you. Tell me your favourite food so I can learn how to cook it. Give me a list of your favourite things to do so I can get familiar with at least one or two. I want to know what drives you mad or what makes you laugh so hard it brings tears to your eyes. I would love to learn every little thing you do not share with your fans and I want to earn your trust so I can be a keeper of your secrets. I would like to be there when you feel low and make you laugh when you feel like crying.
I want to learn you, oppa. I want us to learn each other like how your fingers learn the keys of a piano or the chords on a guitar in order to create a beautiful melody. And we can only do that if we give each other time.
So forgive me if I am being difficult by playing hard to get. I hope you can still wait a little more. Thank you for giving me the space I wanted when I asked for it. It sounded trite and childish to ask not to see or contact me so I could purge Mi Nam
For turning down your invitation for dinner once again, mianhe. I just don’t trust myself that I won’t turn into a mush the minute I smell you next to me, let alone have your eyes gaze at me for longer than a minute. My resolve is weakening you see, especially now that you have proven your intentions to me quite clearly and subtly (if I may just add), considering that you do it so casually in public nowadays.
Oppa, you don’t always have to mention my name in interviews, especially in front of your fans. I know that your Eels will always love you no matter what you do but still, take it easy in constantly associating my name with yours, lest you want to have me as bait they would love to devour in a flash, literally.
And yes, I believe you now, your omma likes me. Kamsahamnida. I have already made a million mental notes to remember to thank her in person one of these days. I like her, too. But maybe she will appreciate it more if you start owning up to your feelings instead of dragging her name into this mess and quoting her every chance you get.
Come on, be a man. Say it’s not just your mom who likes me, you like me, too. A lot more!
I’m kidding, of course.
I am being a little greedy and I know I am pushing my luck too far by doing this but if we really are meant to be, if this feeling, this magic, this dream, is for us to share, then come spring, I know, this thing you call madness (which I call the virtue of waiting), everything I put us through these past few months, will finally make sense.
Our story, our own real story, is finally taking shape. It has its roots firmly planted on the ground. And now, a tiny bud is blossoming from it.
The promise of spring is here, oppa.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
White Day
White Day
It is one of those days that make you wish you fell for a girl who wasn’t born with a spoonful of sensibility and a bowl of rationality embedded in her genes.
And she’s only 21. How much more sensible can she get when she reaches your age? You refuse to imagine.
You look at the jar of candies sitting sadly on the passenger seat and you restrain the urge to roll your eyes in exasperation.
“These candies are not good enough. What is she, ten?” your Omma has scolded you earlier, seeing the jar tucked under your arm as you open the door on your way to the garage.
She shoved a box of Belgian chocolates in your hands instead, mumbling under her breath how on earth could she have given birth to a boy who cannot even pick the right gift for his girlfriend on White Day.
And just as before, you resisted the urge to correct her, but your blunt honest self won over just the same. “She’s not my girlfriend, Omma. At least, not yet,” you snapped back, softening the retort with your boyish smile - the only weapon you have in your arnenal that never fails to soften your mother’s heart.
She chuckled, as expected. “Aigoo, and I love her even more for it. The first time a girl makes my Keun Suk wait,” she relished the thought. “That girl knows what she’s doing and you better listen to her.”
“Ahrasso,” you mumbled back, waved to her and walked over to your car. Your pride has lost count on the number of times it has suffered from self-mutilation everytime you were reminded of the sad, annoying fact that you were made to wait. For her. By her. And God knows why your omma just couldn’t get enough of rubbing it in to you every chance she gets.
You curse yourself again, for the thousandth time, since that night when you, the guy who had never been turned down by any girl, was reduced to an insignificant pulp of a human being on the pavement as you digested what she just told you. It was the night of the Melon Music Awards. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision but you took the chance anyway. You followed her home. You asked for a moment and you opened your heart to her. You told her you liked her a lot and you would like to date her, exclusively. You were aiming for a kiss, not a hand to stop your advances. Nor a bucket of cold water splashed on your face.
“Can we wait until all this madness that the drama has brought us settled down, Oppa?” she asked in a little but firm voice. “So we can be sure that whatever we are feeling right now is not just an extension of the script?”
She looked at you with those innocent eyes that you initially failed to feel the crushing weight of her blow. “You don’t trust my feelings,” you accused her, hurt and reeling from the subtle rejection.
She shook her pretty head, licking her lips nervously which made you want to kiss her senseless just to spite her. And maybe, get the truth out of her. “Oppa, it’s not that,” she pleaded with her eyes. “I just want us to like each other under normal circumstances, not under the trappings of a romantic script.”
She averted her eyes from you but not before you saw the hesitation in them. The tiny sliver of self-control she had been waging against herself was reflected in that split second for you and suddenly you knew that she was not rejecting you afterall. She was just putting you on her wait list. Your ego blistered at the word. But you had to admit it piqued your interest.
Ahh, you felt a little vindicated. You willed yourself to understand what she was trying to say, convinced yourself to believe her despite your misgivings. “I’m not a patient man, Shin Hye,” you warned her, before giving in to her request. “You must give me a deadline where we can end this madness. Or else,” you traced your finger on the delicate contours of her face, “I’ll go crazy, I swear.”
“Spring,” she said, “ask me again this spring.” She smiled shyly and sweetly that you just had to nod your head in blind obedience.
~0o0~
And that was why you kept your distance since the night of the SBS Awards. You were giving her space to think and sort out her feelings towards you which was the dumbest thing you ever did, if your opinion matters. But of course it doesn’t, as far as this thing is concerned, so you just let her be. You didn’t contact her for a month, as agreed upon, and when you had to see each other for social and work-related activities, just like when Yong Hwa and his band did their debut showcase in January, you were careful to limit your interactions with her at a minimum. You smiled at her politely, talked to her only when necessary and stole glances at her when you knew she was not looking.
She was driving you crazy and you knew it but you persevered. You wanted to prove to her that you have a word of honor. You gave her your word and you would do what has been agreed upon.
The only time you broke your resolve was on her birthday. It was her special day and you would be damned if you just let it pass without any word from you. So you asked her out. And miracle of miracles, she agreed to meet over a cup of coffee. She was yielding, you knew it. Spring is near.
So you just cannot understand now, on White Day, why she refused to grant you a harmless date. After you gave her the box of chocolates from your mother and the bouquet of white roses you had the presence of mind to buy at the last minute, and after summoning the courage to knock in front of her new place at 10 in the morning, she just flatly turned you down again nonchalantly.
“You have really made a nasty habit of rejecting me again and again, Shin Hye,” you told her gravely, a scowl playing at the corners of your mouth.
“Mianhe, Oppa,” she tried to apologize. “But I have to finish a project for school with my groupmates.”
“On White Day? And a Sunday?” you asked, your patience tethering on a dangerous precipice.
She nodded her head vigorously. “The project’s deadline is tomorrow.”
“How about our deadline?” you snapped.
She gave you an impish grin. “I never forget that. That’s next on my list,” she said sweetly, her eyes asking for forgiveness and understanding.
It took all your willpower to restrain yourself to grab and kiss her there and then, on her doorway, with her little dog as a witness.
~0o0~
“What’s with the jar of sweets?” Heechul asks as you enter the room gloomily, still deep in thought about a certain stubborn girl you know with an overrated sensibility.
You look at the jar in your hands and put it down on the table. “It’s White Day today, hyung so I brought one for the birthday boy who doesn’t have any special girl to give candies to for days like this,” you smirk towards Hong Ki.
Hong Ki sneers at you. “Look who’s talking, hyung. We’re all on the same boat here,” he says which makes every pretty boy in the room, including you, laugh.
“Speak for yourself,” you banter back lamely, picking a bottle of beer and opening it.
“Spring is almost here,” you mutter under your breath before chugging the whole bottle down.
Screw White Day.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
The Guitarman
I have always been partial to guys who play guitars. That explains why I love Jason Mraz, Kim Hyun Joong, JGS (he does know how to play the instrument, too, right?) and of course, Yong Hwa. I've been meaning to write him a fic of his own but just didn't hear his voice yet until now. So, my friends, here's 'Yoong'. 
(With apologies to SeoHyun)
(With apologies to SeoHyun) The Guitarman
The first time Shin Hye saw Jung Yong Hwa played his guitar, she thought he reminded her of her own brother. The way he caressed his guitar, the way his fingers glided through the strings, the surreal-almost-reverent expression playing on his face as he strummed each note… He looked like Oppa with his guitar, she caught herself saying.
He was the newbie actor in the cast and it took him forever to overcome that ‘stigma’. Always timid, always shy around his sunbaes, always nervous before every take as he struggles to memorize his lines, he played the part of the greenhorn actor quite well that it amused Shin Hye to see him transform into something else whenever they performed onstage as the fictional band, ANJELL.
With his guitar, he sheds the cloak of insecurities of being the inexperienced actor and turns into the consummate musician that he really is. With a microphone, he spews words as fast as lightning, his voice loud and clear, his accent impeccable. Seeing him perform onstage was always a delight and a revelation for her and the rest of the crew. It was like seeing the ugly duckling turning into a beautiful swan each time he takes the platform. With his guitar, Jung Yong Hwa can do anything, she often heard the make-up artists and stylists unnies exclaimed dreamily in the background.
And Shin Hye couldn’t agree more. If Jang Keun Suk can turn every girl’s knees into jelly with his smile, if Lee Hong Ki can steal every noona’s heart with his voice, Jung Yong Hwa can do both with his guitar.
On their first meeting as a cast, he smiled to her first, introducing himself. He kept on calling her sunbae which made her blush in embarrassment. “I’m younger so please just let me call you Oppa and you can drop the sunbae,” she has proposed but Yong Hwa said he would be uncomfortable doing that. In the end, they entered into a compromise, they would just address each other like equals, dropping the honorifics altogether. “We were born just months apart anyway, so just call me Yong Hwa and I call you Shin Hye,” he suggested which Shin Hye liked, thinking it would make them become fast friends if they could address each other comfortably.
Yong Hwa soon did really become friends with her quickly. He sought her advice often as the drama progresses, asking for pointers from her. He was determined to do well in his acting debut, he told her which made her like him more. Since they were shooting a lot of scenes together, their closeness grew and soon Shin Hye was discovering a side of the real Yong Hwa off-screen – a natural prankster, a passionate musician and a really honest guy. Unlike Keun Suk whose charm speaks to you in volumes the minute he steps into a room, Yong Hwa’s quiet charm is in his awkward, timid smiles plastered on a very attractive face. His antics are as boisterous as Hong Ki’s but while Hong Ki has the tendency to be snobbish at first sight, Yong Hwa evokes a calm but mysterious aura.
That’s why she started calling him Bolmae-Jung. He is attractive without even trying. A nickname which leaves him cringing to no end. But being the good sport that he is, he just let her be, and the nickname stuck with him.
He always indulges her own pranks, even if it means he would always end up being the victim. At first she thought he was just being polite and friendly when he seemed to never get annoyed at her jokes. But she soon found out that he is really like that with girls. With the boys, especially with Hong Ki, he has no qualms being rowdy and even raunchy at times. But with her, his jokes are always kept at a respectable limit. He never crossed the line, not even when he teases her as being one of the guys. He knows how to treat girls well, not only her, but also the other women on set. He knows how to be a real gentleman, to not sacrifice courtesy over familiarity, which prompted the PD to refer to him as the gentleman from Busan.
~0o0~
Yong Hwa has always said this in interviews -- he is not Kang Shin Woo, never will be. For one, Shin Woo is not real, just a product of the Hong sisters' creative mind. Two, Yong Hwa will never be caught dead reciting those cheesy Shin Woo lines to any girl he likes. And three, he is not the type of guy who would be content to watch the girl he likes from the sidelines like Shin Woo did for Mi Nam
When it comes to girls, he has never been the passive admirer. He is someone who takes actions on his feelings. When he likes a girl, he tells her right away and sees how it goes. He doesn't think much about rejection, he just wants to get his feelings across while it lasts. Because he believes that life is not always about making the right choices. It's all about taking risks. He has always been that sort of guy. He may not always play by the rules, but he plays fair.
There are only two things he shares in common with Shin Woo - the love for guitar and Go Mi Nam
He liked her instantly when he met her for the first time. The minute she walked in the conference room at their first script reading, he thought she was beautiful. And it didn’t hurt that she was also friendly. She was shy and a little innocent at first but as she interacted with him more, she started to loosen up around him. When she noticed his stiffness and nervousness, she offered to help him overcome his jitters about acting. She gave him tips, she made him comfortable during their scenes together and he found himself drawn to her more and more.
But Yong Hwa is a guy who chooses his own battles. He knows when it is worth his while to fight; he knows when it is not. There were two reasons why he stopped himself from falling for her. First, his dream to be the musician he always wanted to be. A girl, no matter how pretty or talented or charming, will only deter him from reaching that dream, for now, at least. Second, someone has already made his claim on her long before Yong Hwa even realized he was starting to like her, for real.
So he let her go. Just as Shin Woo did, minus the toe-curling mushy lines, of course.
~0o0~
"Have you ever liked a girl you are not supposed to like, Bolmae-Jung?" Shin Hye asks, her face serious, her voice whispering the question that Yong Hwa has to lean towards her to catch it.
They are in between rehearsals for the SBS Gayo Daejun. Taking a break, they sit huddled together on the stairs at the fire exit near the stage, reviewing their scripts. Shin Hye stares at the blank wall in front of them, waiting for his answer.
"Huh?" he asks, trying to focus his thoughts on her question. He has been trying to memorize a spiel he would deliver with Hee Chul later in the awards which involves a reference to an artist and a song he is not quite familiar when Shin Hye spoke. Making a mental note to search for it later online, he turns to Shin Hye. "No."
Shin Hye sighs. "Lucky you."
He catches the long, drawn sigh and the worried look in her eyes. Putting down his cue cards, he nudges her gently, his face closing on hers. "That loud sigh just put a hole on that wall, Shin Hye," he points to the wall. "What's wrong?"
She shakes her head vigorously, then burying her face on her hands, she gives a muffled scream. "I don't know what to do."
"Do you like someone else's boyfriend or husband?" Yong Hwa asks.
She laughs despite her confusion. "What?" she hits his thigh with her balled fists, "Of course not!"
He gives her a concerned look. "Well, those are the only reasons I know why you are not supposed to like someone else."
"You think so?" Her voice is uncertain.
"Uh-huh," he takes a drink from his water bottle.
Shin Hye sighs again. "He told me he wants us to date."
He carefully caps the bottle while digesting her words. "Keun Suk-hyung," he says. It is not a question. He is merely reaffirming a fact he already knows.
She carefully nods, getting shy all of a sudden.
Yong Hwa smiles knowingly at her, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Hmm... so it is true. People really do find love on set, huh?"
She covers his mouth with her hand, glancing nervously at the door and at the stairs. "Sssh..."
He pries her hand away. "But you're not supposed to like him back?" He asks, creasing his forehead and lowering his voice. "Why so?"
Shin Hye’s eyes radiate the turmoil brewing within her. But he does not understand. “Wae?”
“Oppa,” she starts to speak and Yong Hwa listens carefully, noting how she calls him oppa. Shin Hye only addresses him that when she is embarrassed or flustered. “When you are acting out a character, sometimes reality and fiction gets blurry and your emotions follow suit. I don’t know if you have felt it since it is just your first drama…but when you get too deep into your character, you…you tend to…” she gropes around with the words.
“Fall in love for real?” Yong Hwa helps her out.
She bites her lower lip and nods.
He ponders for a moment, tilting his head to one side. “So you think he likes you because he is still in character as Hwang Tae Kyung?” he asks carefully.
Her head slowly moves down, then up.
“But what about you? Do you like him?” It sounds like a rhetorical question for him but he just wants to be sure before he can help her out with her silly predicament.
Her lips twist into a smile for a second. “Yes. But I am not sure if that’s the real me feeling it or just Go Mi Nam
Yong Hwa gives her a dubious look. Then he laughs. “I can’t believe this,” he tells her, his eyes full of mirth. “Is this how actors date, for real? Because it feels so much like a job, the way you look so confused right now. Hyung wants to date you. If you like him, too, then what’s stopping you? ”
Shin Hye pouts, a little wounded that he is treating her problem like a joke. “You really don’t understand, do you?”
“No,” he answers her bluntly. “But I know where you are coming from,” he says, looking at her eyes steadily. “You are afraid that whatever feelings you both have right now might not be real. Am I right?” he pauses, waiting for her response.
She gives him a slight nod.
“You think you like him as Go Mi Nam
She purses her lips. Now that he is saying out loud what she thinks, Shin Hye understands how he laughed at her earlier. It does sound absurd, doesn’t it?
Yong Hwa grins at her silly. “Shin Hye,” he pats her head affectionately, “I don’t know that much about girls and stuff but I’m a guy and I know how this thing between our ears works.” He points at his temple.
She sits up straight; her curiosity getting pricked by the sound of his voice. Whenever he gets serious, Yong Hwa unconsciously reverts back to his Busan Saturi accent and right now, Shin Hye can barely make out the words he speaks as his accent thickens his speech. She suppresses her smile as she listens to him.
“Asking a girl out is never easy. You think we just blurt it out to you out of nowhere? Like the idea just pops up while drinking soju?” he asks, then seeing how Shin Hye is creasing her forehead while listening to him, he consciously shifts back his speech to normal Seoul
“You think so?”
Yong Hwa studies her innocent expression and laughs quietly. “Did you know that at the start of the drama I had this crush on you?” he blurts out, catching Shin Hye off-guard.
She blushes, he laughs. “Oppa!” she feigns annoyance to cover up her embarrassment.
“Ne. It’s true. And I’m not telling you this to hit on you, okay? I had a crush on you. I’m using the past tense, see? No need to get embarrassed,” he teases her, laughing at her reaction. “I’m trying to make a point so just listen up.”
She bows down her head, still embarrassed. “It better be good,” she warns in a small voice.
“When a guy likes a girl, he weighs his options. Will he act on his attraction? Or will he just treat it like it’s just a passing fancy that will go away in a day or two? I did that,” he continues. “I told myself, ‘Okay, she is cute and wouldn’t it be great to see if I stand a chance on her? Afterall, we will be working together for a few months. Plenty of time to get to know her and charm my way towards her heart…’ You know, those kinds of thoughts,” he takes a pause to check her reaction.
She smiles, shaking her head in disbelief.
“But you know what changed my mind? It’s not because I wanted to preserve our friendship and all that crap. It’s not because I’m scared you’ll reject me or anything. I’m way too confident when it comes to girls, I tell you,” he jokes.
“It’s because of this,” he does an air guitar. “I love my music. It was the reason why I moved to Seoul
“My point is -- if I could turn back on the chance to act on my attraction to you because of something more important, then it might just have been a passing fancy, right? It was just a simple crush, my first ever celebrity crush, if you have it. But for Keun Suk-hyung…” he trails on, wanting to drive home the point. “It looks like his is not just a simple crush, Shin Hye.”
She hangs her head, deep in thought. She keeps her silence for a minute. Then, she asks in a little whisper, “Ottoke?”
“Shin Hye, we are young. It’s the perfect time to make beautiful mistakes. So what if it will not turn out the way you expected it? At least you tried. And hyung is a good guy. Heck, even Hong Ki is in love with him. Go get him before that punk beats you to it!”
She giggles. He grins back and starts to count, “Hana, dul, set…”
“Fighting!” they shout in unison.
~0o0~
Shin Hye races back to the university’s parking lot as soon as she receives Yong Hwa’s message. I’m already here at the parking lot. Black van with this plate number…”
She spots the van right away as she emerges from her building. Yong Hwa has informed her two days ago that he could finally meet her now that CN Blue’s promotions for their album has ended. He would have a few days off before they start preparations for their Japan
“You look better on TV,” she jokes as she sits herself beside him inside the car.
He touches his face self-consciously at her remark. “Someone from SNSD told me exactly the same thing on national TV. Do I really look that bad in person?”
She laughs, suddenly realizing how she missed his out of this world gullibility and witty one-liners. “Did you miss me?” she playfully asks.
He gives her his best idol-smile. “Of course. You missed me, too?”
“Aniya,” she shakes her head. “How could I when you are all over the place? I turn on the TV, you’re there. I scan a magazine, I see your face. I turn on the radio in the car, you are still there singing, rapping! No, I didn’t have the chance to miss you, Bolmae-jung.”
He chuckles. “Well, I missed you. And hyung,” he adds, his voice dropping into a whisper, aware that their agency’s driver is just within earshot.
Shin Hye smiles coyly, a tiny flush of pink tinting her cheeks.
A naughty smirk appears on Yong Hwa’s face. “Hong Ki told me something. I didn’t know if he was just pulling a prank on me but…is it true? You and hyung?”
She glares at him, motioning him to shut up. “You were right. Making beautiful mistakes can be fun.”
He leans back his head on the seat and clutches his heart. “Aigoo, she is now taken,” he mumbles in his Busan accent.
She grabs his left hand and lifts it to show his ringed finger. “Aigoo, you just got married,” she mimics his accent.
He touches the infamous 2000-won ring with his thumb and laughs. “She actually reminds me of you sometimes. You have the same innocent view about guys,” he leers. “It’s actually fun to be with her, you know,” he adds, almost to himself.
But Shin Hye is quick to catch his last remark. “Aha!” she snaps her finger. “You like her for real, don’t you?” she teases.
His eyes try to evade hers while he smiles broadly to some private joke only he can understand. “Enjoy your own mistake, Shin Hye,” he snaps at her happily.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
My Prettiest Friend
A tribute to the friendship of LHK and PSH. Another proof that not all great stories between a girl and a boy need to end in a romantic note.(Title inspired by Jason Mraz's "Prettiest Friend")
My Prettiest Friend
Hong Ki glances at Shin Hye sitting at the passenger seat with an impish grin and asks, for the nth time that night, “Are you really sure about this?”
Shin Hye glares at her, exasperated. “You punk, just drive and let’s go,” she reaches out to him to smooth some stray blond locks, tucking them into his beanie. “I’m so ravenous I am now seeing Yong Hwa’s face in yours!”
“Ya! You, too?” he asks her incredulously. “Why does everyone associate me with that guy like we are twins?” he pouts, maneuvering the car. “No, I don’t see him everyday. No, I don’t know his ideal type and no, we are not going out,” he rattles on to an imaginary reporter with a stoic face.
Shin Hye laughs at him, cracking up at his poker face while spitting out yaoi fics he found online about Yong Hwa and him. One of the things she loves best about Hong Ki is his humor, a side of him he only reveals to people close to him. When they first met, she thought he was a snob, barely smiling, sitting quietly in a corner and talking only when he was asked about something. But her perception of him changed when they got to know each other better. A walking time bomb, that’s what she calls him. A bomb full of pranks and idiotic ideas that are always the source of her loud laughs in the middle of shooting. More than the idol image he portrays on stage for his fans, she knows Hong Ki is a treasure full of fun.
That’s why for his birthday, she decided to give him a gift she knows his heart has been busily wishing for the past three years. A date. With a girl. Her.
~0o0~
“Is this all you got for me?” Hong Ki asks Shin Hye, faking a pout while scrutinizing the Beats headphone on his hand. “Ah, cinchia. My fans are more creative than you are!”
Shin Hye laughs at her friend then reaches out to hit his forehead with her chopsticks. “Hey, you ungrateful brat, I totally rocked my brains off trying to think of something to give you. It’s not that easy, ok?” She pouts back. “You already have me for one whole night and still you’re acting greedy!”
Hong Ki’s smile finally creeps out of the corners of his lips as he tries the headphone on. “This is jjang, Shin Hye-ah! I have always wanted to buy this brand but it’s so expensive I couldn’t bring myself to buy it then here you are, ahhh…you sure are richer than me. Komapta!” he says excitedly, opening his arms wide, giving her an air hug across the table.
Shin Hye giggles excitedly back at Hong Ki, her eyes warmly appraising his cute face adorned right now with his toothy smile. “Happy Birthday!”
“Here, this is your birthday gift,” he shoves a small package to her from across the table. It suspiciously looks like a CD.
“A CD?” she asks excitedly then drops the smile off her face. “Please don’t tell me it’s an FT Island CD,” she adds trying to sound as dejected as he did moments earlier with her gift.
“Look who’s turning ungrateful this time,” he says, giving her a disapproving look. “Just open it before you complain,” he orders.
A CD indeed lies inside the simple wrapping but it does not bear the name of FT Island . It is her name printed on the cover.
“Yong Hwa wrote a song for you, I sang it. Acoustic style,” he explains nonchalantly. “It’s a joint effort and we accept a free dinner in return. And the copyright is ours so don’t you ever think of uploading it online without our consent,” he rattles on, with a straight face.
Shin Hye’s smile brightens her face as she lovingly tucks the CD in her bag. “Tell Yong Hwa I’ll hoard all the CDs of his band and your band tomorrow to up the sales of your albums. And yes, free dinner. Call me anytime,” she stifles a giggle as her heart swells at the thought of having a song written just for her. “I’ll listen to it as soon as I get home.”
Hong Ki merely grunts as he scans the menu. He won’t accept any mushy thank you, no sir. Not even from Shin Hye.
~0o0~
Shin Hye has carefully planned to set aside a day for Hong Ki amidst her busy schedule. She wanted to do something special for his birthday so she thought of something that would really make him happy. But he had been really busy wrapping up their band’s Asian tour that merely getting a free day for him had been extremely difficult. So when she found out that he gets a free time before he flies to Japan
“Are you really spending the whole night with me just like you told me over the phone?” Hong Ki asks curiously as they eat.
Shin Hye beams at him. “Yes! I will be your girlfriend for tonight! Don’t you just love it?”
Hong Ki has forever been complaining to her about his non-existent love life. Given his idol status, dating or even just liking a girl is as remote a possibility as him getting a free round trip ticket to the moon for his birthday. “I couldn’t even see my mom regularly, how can I afford a relationship?” he would often rant to Shin Hye, Keun Suk or to who ever cares to know, voicing out his frustrations. “But I’m a guy in his 20’s! This is NOT normal!” he would gripe often. And it doesn’t help that Keun Suk often loves to rub it in that he is dating her whenever he gets the chance to talk to Hong Ki which forever embarrasses Shin Hye.
So she thought of doing this for him --- to spend time with a girl alone, just like on a date, even just for a night. And since she really couldn’t think of anyone who would date Hong Ki without shrieking like a crazy fangirl every five seconds, she thought she would just be the perfect candidate for him. No romantic strings attached, of course. Not that she would worry anyway. Hong Ki has always been vocal about how he sees her as something asexual.
But of course, precaution is always better than inciting the wrath of anti-fans, so she told him she would date him at night, in disguise. “Dress down, and remember to cover that blond hair of yours with a hat!” she has meticulously ordered. She in turn wore her trusted wig and eyeglasses.
Hong Ki snorts. “Hmpft! You’re just making up for your boyfriend’s haughtiness!” he picks some food from her plate. “Does hyung even know you’re spending time with me tonight?”
Shin Hye shakes her head. “Ani. This is our secret date. So let’s just have fun, okay?” she lies. Of course Keun Suk knows that she is with Hong Ki tonight, leaving him out of the loop would just mean trouble for her.
“Liar,” he says. “He just called me up on my way here. Told me not to do things to you he wouldn’t do himself. Tsk,” he shakes his head in disbelief. “His jealous streak does not really discriminate, does it?”
Shin Hye covers her mouth to hide her smile and embarrassment for getting caught lying. Ahh, that guy is really ruining her every move! “Don’t mind him. He’s just jealous that I’m treating you to a movie later.”
Hong Ki’s eyes lit up at the mention of the word ‘movie’. “Really? We will watch a movie later? Ah, it’s been a while since I last saw a movie with a girl.” His eyes twinkle mischievously at the thought. “So does that mean I will have to kiss you, too?”
“Your choice, birthday boy,” she winks at him flirtatiously.
Then as if on cue, they both pretend to gag at the prospect. “Incestuous!” Hong Ki glares at her, feigning disgust.
She plays innocent. “The feeling is mutual, Lee Hong Ki.”
“I’ll treat you to the movie and I’ll pay for this dinner but the coffee after the movie is on you,” he proposes.
“Deal!” she gives him a thumbs-up.
He claps his hand excitedly. “Ah, I’m loving this date every minute!”
She smiles at him warmly. “I told you, I’m going to make your birthday happy!”
They exchange a loud high-five!
~0o0~
Coming out of the movie theatre, Hong Ki wraps his arms around Shin Hye, lifting her up playfully then started to spin her in circles.
“Let me down, you punk!” Shin Hye screams, wiggling her feet. “I’m dizzy!”
He puts her down, laughing at her. “Didn’t you say you are my girlfriend for today? Well, I have always wanted to do that to someone I would date,” he says, grinning widely.
She laughs incredulously. “Are you for real? That’s something my brother used to do to bully me.”
He shrugs. “Well, when I like someone, I usually tend to bully her around,” he admits.
“Ah, Hong Ki ah,” Shin Hye exhales a defeated sigh. They walk towards a coffee shop. “Your style is so high school. Not even your idol status can get you a girlfriend if you keep up with that,” she explains.
Hong Ki smirks, sitting down with her in a corner table. “Whatever. I can never afford to see someone now anyway,” the sadness in his voice creeps in unexpectedly.
Shin Hye looks at him affectionately. “Hey, do you happen to like someone right now that you just can’t date?” He has been carrying a melancholic vibe in him the minute she met him earlier and that has been nagging at her mind all night.
There is something in his eyes she couldn’t put a name on, something that bothers him that even his own quirky and perky personality cannot disguise.
He shifts his eyes towards hers. “No. I just….” He trails on. “…feel empty, that’s all.”
Shin Hye quietly sips her cup of coffee and waits for Hong Ki to continue. Her heart is now beginning to ache for him, especially now that she realizes how empty his eyes really are. He looks sick. Sick and tired of something.
Hong Ki traces the rim of his cup with his forefinger and sighs loudly. “I love what I do, you know. Singing is my passion. I can’t imagine myself doing anything else than being on stage and belting out songs for my fans. I love my band. They are family to me. We’ve been through a lot these past years.”
His eyes are glued to his cup. “But…” he trails on, lifting his eyes to meet hers. “Sometimes, I just want to run away from it all.” He looks at her, giving her a small, self-effacing smile. “I live before the public eye, literally under a microscope where everything about me is magnified. Yet I’m not complaining because I’m living my dream, you know. But I ask myself, how come I feel so insignificant to my own self? How come I don’t see my own worth amidst the love of our fans? Why do I feel lonely and sad after the lights went off and the screaming of fans died down?”
Shin Hye stares at him solemnly. “Aigoo…” she sighs, not sure of the right words to say. She didn’t have any idea he has been feeling this low.
Then to her surprise, his face lightens up immediately. Grinning, he says dismissively, “Oh crap. I just need a girl. That’s all there is to it.”
Her mouth agape, she asks, “Are you for real? You just told me your life is getting empty and now you say you just need a girl?” she throws him a skeptical look. “What are you?”
“A guy with raging hormones,” he tells her bluntly, with a shrug and with his poker face on. Shin Hye hears her jaw drop on the floor.
“Ya!” she yells, her cheeks turning red. “Watch your mouth, there’s a girl in front of you!”
“Ha!” he says, aghast. “I’m just telling you my honest assessment of what I’m feeling. And don’t you turn prudish on me. I’m not suffering from an unrequited love if that’s what you are aiming to hear. But I’ve got needs, you know and that’s when having a nonexistent lovelife really sucks!”
Her cheeks flaming from his honest words, she can’t help but chuckle at the way their conversation is going. “You know, I should have just arranged a boys’ night out for you with the guys. I’m sure they can relate better with your predicament.”
Hong Ki laughs at her, enjoying her uneasiness. “But you’re a better listener,” he teases.
“Stop it or I’ll go create an anti-fan site for you right this minute!” she warns, ignoring Hong Ki’s mirth.
~0o0~
“Has hyung been treating you right?” Hong Ki asks Shin Hye as he drives her home. It is past midnight and their date is drawing to a close.
She nods and grunts an incoherent ‘yes’.
“Wae?” Hong Ki teases her. “Why the shy smile? Aisshh, you guys really turned so mushy ever since you two hooked up. It makes me puke.”
Shin Hye laughs, slapping his arm. “Get yourself a girl and stop pestering me,” she nags.
“Ahrasso. But please, next time you think of setting me up for a date, get someone else okay? Not you. Give me a real girl I can kiss and hug!”
She pouts. “I don’t know your type. And yes, Song Hye Kyo sunbae is out of your league and out of the question so just let go of that dream. Besides, I can’t think of anyone prettier than me,” she jokes.
He gives her wig a tug before pulling over in front of her house. “Stop being annoying.”
Hong Ki has adored Shin Hye the minute she opened her mouth to introduce herself to him at the script reading for the drama. In his constrained idol life, it is very rare for him to ever get the chance to interact with girls around his age, not counting idols like him of course, and FT Island ’s fans. So when Shin Hye walks up to him for the first time, he felt a little intimidated and shy. But Shin Hye was warm and friendly, always asking questions, starting little conversations with him and Yong Hwa that soon enough they were talking and playing together on set like long-lost friends.
She is beautiful, talented, charming and very friendly, Hong Ki is very aware of those facts. But strangely enough, and this really crossed his mind once, he never found himself romantically attracted to Shin Hye. Unlike the character he played in the drama, he is really positive he would never be caught singing “Sarangheyo…” with tears in his eyes to Shin Hye anytime soon. To think of her other than a sister or a friend is just…incestuous and vile. When he said in an interview that he was sure he would never be caught in a scandal with her even if they go on a holiday alone is true. He really feels that.
She is lovely and he adores her but she will always be someone else’s girl, never his. And that suits him just fine.
She grins sweetly at him. “Don’t be sad, Hong Ki-ah,” she says, her voice turning serious. “If ever you feel empty, call me and I’ll fill up the void. A lot of people love you. And a thousand fan girls adore you. You can have any girl anytime.”
Hong Ki nods, affectionately reaching out to hug her. “I know,” he smiles at her. “And I got the prettiest friend in the world right here with me.”
She beams proudly at him. “Ah, you finally acknowledge that I’m pretty. I’m so proud!”
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Tongue-Tied
Tongue-Tied
“Reject!” Shin Hye says, tossing a script to where Keun Suk sits at the opposite end of the couch. Sitting cross-legged at the other end, she shakes her head vigorously, scrunching her nose. “No way are you going to act in that drama, Oppa.”
Keun Suk looks up from his laptop to see the script lying in front of him. He flips it to see the title and shifts his eyes back at Shin Hye, “Why, this is one of my top three on the list. I like the story. It’s an adult drama.”
Shin Hye lets out a deep sigh, crossing her arms across her chest. “The lead guy has a kissing scene every other two pages in that script! Will this ever be allowed on primetime? Seriously?”
He chuckles, touching her shin playfully with his right foot. “Ya! That was the fifth script you tossed out because of the kissing scenes! Come on, don’t be too prudish. You know it’s just work,” he winks at her.
They are lounging inside Keun Suk’s agency on a Friday night, busily reading over some scripts sent to Keun Suk for his review. He has asked Shin Hye’s help to decide which of the scripts he would consider doing next for a drama or a movie. But from the rate things are going, it looks like he will have to decline all the scripts given to him if he wants to placate the girl with a very worried face sitting in front of him just now.
“Ahhh!” Shin Hye screams softly. “Why did I ever allow myself to date Jang Geun Suk?”
Keun Suk feigns shock, clutching his heart, he exclaims, “Ouch! And I thought dating an actress will make my life less complicated.”
She sticks out her tongue. “Oppa,” she sighs. “I don’t think I can bear seeing you kissing another girl, even if it’s only acting.” She turns her sad puppy-dog eyes to him, cupping her face with her hands.
He giggles, eyes shining. “Are you doing an aegyo right now?” he asks, putting down the laptop on the table. “Can you hold it for a second?” he flips out his cellphone from his pocket. “So I can record it?”
Shin Hye instantly straightens up the second his phone came into view. “Aniya, aniya!” she says, stifling a laugh while blocking her face. “Aissh! I am seriously pouring my heart out to you but you are just making fun of me!”
Keun Suk tries to wrestle her hands away, aiming for a good shot of her face. “I’m serious, too. I just want to film this so I can preserve the memory of Park Shin Hye trying to talk me out of doing kissing scenes!”
“Oppa!” she yells in protest. She covers her face with a script. “I didn’t tell you not to do it. I know it is work. I just…” she trails on sheepishly behind the inch-thick sheets of paper.
“You just…what?”
She lowers the script down to reveal her face. “I know how you do your kissing scenes!” She bites her lips anxiously. “Oh, just the thought of you doing numerous NGs with whoever just makes me want to have a heart attack right now!” she jokes to camouflage the redness on her cheeks and the worry in her eyes. Because, truth be told, she is really getting jealous now from the mere thought of it.
Keun Suk looks at her, aghast. “Oh. I’m sorry but I don’t remember now how I do my kissing scenes. My last drama is now a fuzzy memory to me. Refresh my mind,” he tells her, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
She hits him on his arm. “You.are.a.big.flirt.”
He guffaws at her remark. “Hey, I may be a flirt but I am always a gentleman. Why? Did I ever take advantage of you in a kissing scene before?”
His question makes her think of one kissing scene they did in Minamishineyo that really gives her the goosebumps whenever she remembers it. Her cheeks grow hot at the thought. “You did not take advantage. But you…you made me do things I do not normally do!”
Keun Suk laughs, clearly enjoying the sight of her blushing. “What? What did I do?” He asks curiously.
Shin Hye bolts out of her seat, face all red. “Nothing!” she says, walking away from him. Grabbing and opening a bottle of water from the table, she turns to him, “We are stopping this conversation now. Please,” she begs.
“Ya!” Keun Suk yells at her, a big smile plastered on his face. “Come here and sit. We are not done talking until I say so,” he orders, patting down the space beside him on the couch.
“No!” she stomps her feet in protest. “Just pick whatever script you want from that pile. It’s okay with me,” she attempts to change the topic.
Keun Suk ignores her, deep in thought all of a sudden. “Aha!” he snaps his fingers after a minute. “Are you, by chance, talking about that ‘bobo’ we had after the movie scene? The one at the rooftop?” His eyes are gleaming with mirth. The naughty look on his face tells Shin Hye that he now knows what she was referring to earlier.
She shrieks in defeat. “Oppa, don’t. Please don’t make me remember that. I swear I’ll die in embarrassment!”
“The one when you kissed me back when you really did not have to?” Keun Suk can not stop laughing now, enjoying how Shin Hye squirms in embarrassment. She walks towards him, giving him a few hits with her balled fists. “Stop laughing. It’s your fault anyway! You always made me do embarrassing things!”
Not bothering to dodge her hits, he grabs her hands, pulling her towards him, to sit on his lap. “Sit still and listen to me,” he says, trying his best to keep a straight face.
She pouts, shutting her eyes and shaking her head. With her hands tightly in his grasp, she feels vulnerable sitting on his lap like this which makes her squirm even more.
He swiftly plants a kiss on her pouting lips. “Open your eyes and let’s talk about that kiss scene once and for all. Just to set things straight between us,” he teases her again.
Her eyes fly open with the smack on her lips. She meets his eyes bravely. “The script for that scene did not say anything about moving your lips but you did!” she accuses him.
He grins. “You’re right, it did not. But we discussed it with the PD remember? We agreed that since it would be Tae Kyung and Mi Nam
Shin Hye locks gaze with him for a second, trying to refute his statement with her eyes. But then, he is right. They did agree to do a more realistic kiss for that scene. “But you did not have to let me respond like that!” she protests, covering her face in shame at the memory.
Keun Suk hugs her, stifling his laughter yet again. “Shin Hye, you only did the right response to my kiss. You kissed back. No big deal. And the angle that got aired on TV didn’t show the part when you respond to my kiss anyway,” he explains casually, earning him a slap on his arm.
“But the PD saw it, the whole crew was there. And now they even included it as BTS shots!” she cringes in terror.
“Shin Hye,” he utters her name softy, his hands on her nape, mimicking the way he held her in that scene. He looks at her eyes tenderly for a second before shifting his gaze on her lips, letting his eyes linger there. Then slowly, he softly covers her mouth with his own. Savoring the softness of her lips, his kiss deepens. He playfully nips her lower lip, forcing her to gasp, parting her lips ever so slightly but enough for him to drive home his point. He reluctantly pulls away from her, ending the kiss.
“See that? If I kiss you like that, you can never hold your lips shut and motionless for too long,” he explains, caressing her lips with his thumb. “So there is no need to be embarrassed about your reaction in that scene. It was perfectly natural to kiss back.”
She pouts, not entirely convinced. “But the PD edited it out. That only means it was not realistic enough.”
He laughs at her naivete. “Shin Hye, maybe they thought it was too realistic for Go Mi Nam
Keun Suk runs his fingers through her hair. “But not to you. Nor to me. I certainly was not complaining when we did that,” he whispers in her ear, his warm breath making her ear ticklish.
You are right. I did that kiss on purpose. It’s a guy thing, you know, to want to test the waters before plunging in for a wild dive. When you kissed me back, I knew I was on the right track.
“Like right now,” he concludes, trailing kisses from her jaw to her soft, waiting lips.
