White Day

White Day

It is one of those days that make you wish you fell for a girl who wasn’t born with a spoonful of sensibility and a bowl of rationality embedded in her genes.

And she’s only 21. How much more sensible can she get when she reaches your age? You refuse to imagine.

You look at the jar of candies sitting sadly on the passenger seat and you restrain the urge to roll your eyes in exasperation.

“These candies are not good enough. What is she, ten?” your Omma has scolded you earlier, seeing the jar tucked under your arm as you open the door on your way to the garage.

She shoved a box of Belgian chocolates in your hands instead, mumbling under her breath how on earth could she have given birth to a boy who cannot even pick the right gift for his girlfriend on White Day.

And just as before, you resisted the urge to correct her, but your blunt honest self won over just the same. “She’s not my girlfriend, Omma. At least, not yet,” you snapped back, softening the retort with your boyish smile - the only weapon you have in your arnenal that never fails to soften your mother’s heart.

She chuckled, as expected. “Aigoo, and I love her even more for it. The first time a girl makes my Keun Suk wait,” she relished the thought. “That girl knows what she’s doing and you better listen to her.”

“Ahrasso,” you mumbled back, waved to her and walked over to your car. Your pride has lost count on the number of times it has suffered from self-mutilation everytime you were reminded of the sad, annoying fact that you were made to wait. For her. By her. And God knows why your omma just couldn’t get enough of rubbing it in to you every chance she gets.

You curse yourself again, for the thousandth time, since that night when you, the guy who had never been turned down by any girl, was reduced to an insignificant pulp of a human being on the pavement as you digested what she just told you. It was the night of the Melon Music Awards. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision but you took the chance anyway. You followed her home. You asked for a moment and you opened your heart to her. You told her you liked her a lot and you would like to date her, exclusively. You were aiming for a kiss, not a hand to stop your advances. Nor a bucket of cold water splashed on your face.

“Can we wait until all this madness that the drama has brought us settled down, Oppa?” she asked in a little but firm voice. “So we can be sure that whatever we are feeling right now is not just an extension of the script?”

She looked at you with those innocent eyes that you initially failed to feel the crushing weight of her blow. “You don’t trust my feelings,” you accused her, hurt and reeling from the subtle rejection.

She shook her pretty head, licking her lips nervously which made you want to kiss her senseless just to spite her. And maybe, get the truth out of her. “Oppa, it’s not that,” she pleaded with her eyes. “I just want us to like each other under normal circumstances, not under the trappings of a romantic script.”

She averted her eyes from you but not before you saw the hesitation in them. The tiny sliver of self-control she had been waging against herself was reflected in that split second for you and suddenly you knew that she was not rejecting you afterall. She was just putting you on her wait list. Your ego blistered at the word. But you had to admit it piqued your interest.

Ahh, you felt a little vindicated. You willed yourself to understand what she was trying to say, convinced yourself to believe her despite your misgivings. “I’m not a patient man, Shin Hye,” you warned her, before giving in to her request. “You must give me a deadline where we can end this madness. Or else,” you traced your finger on the delicate contours of her face, “I’ll go crazy, I swear.”

“Spring,” she said, “ask me again this spring.” She smiled shyly and sweetly that you just had to nod your head in blind obedience.

~0o0~

And that was why you kept your distance since the night of the SBS Awards. You were giving her space to think and sort out her feelings towards you which was the dumbest thing you ever did, if your opinion matters. But of course it doesn’t, as far as this thing is concerned, so you just let her be. You didn’t contact her for a month, as agreed upon, and when you had to see each other for social and work-related activities, just like when Yong Hwa and his band did their debut showcase in January, you were careful to limit your interactions with her at a minimum. You smiled at her politely, talked to her only when necessary and stole glances at her when you knew she was not looking.

She was driving you crazy and you knew it but you persevered. You wanted to prove to her that you have a word of honor. You gave her your word and you would do what has been agreed upon.

The only time you broke your resolve was on her birthday. It was her special day and you would be damned if you just let it pass without any word from you. So you asked her out. And miracle of miracles, she agreed to meet over a cup of coffee. She was yielding, you knew it. Spring is near.

So you just cannot understand now, on White Day, why she refused to grant you a harmless date. After you gave her the box of chocolates from your mother and the bouquet of white roses you had the presence of mind to buy at the last minute, and after summoning the courage to knock in front of her new place at 10 in the morning, she just flatly turned you down again nonchalantly.

“You have really made a nasty habit of rejecting me again and again, Shin Hye,” you told her gravely, a scowl playing at the corners of your mouth.

“Mianhe, Oppa,” she tried to apologize. “But I have to finish a project for school with my groupmates.”

“On White Day? And a Sunday?” you asked, your patience tethering on a dangerous precipice.

She nodded her head vigorously. “The project’s deadline is tomorrow.”

“How about our deadline?” you snapped.

She gave you an impish grin. “I never forget that. That’s next on my list,” she said sweetly, her eyes asking for forgiveness and understanding.

It took all your willpower to restrain yourself to grab and kiss her there and then, on her doorway, with her little dog as a witness.

~0o0~

“What’s with the jar of sweets?” Heechul asks as you enter the room gloomily, still deep in thought about a certain stubborn girl you know with an overrated sensibility.

You look at the jar in your hands and put it down on the table. “It’s White Day today, hyung so I brought one for the birthday boy who doesn’t have any special girl to give candies to for days like this,” you smirk towards Hong Ki.

Hong Ki sneers at you. “Look who’s talking, hyung. We’re all on the same boat here,” he says which makes every pretty boy in the room, including you, laugh.

“Speak for yourself,” you banter back lamely, picking a bottle of beer and opening it.

“Spring is almost here,” you mutter under your breath before chugging the whole bottle down.

Screw White Day.