Just trying to answer some questions in this shipping heart of mine. Is it just fan service or not? Is JGS for real? Is he really that giddy? Is he seeing somebody? Cause smiles or drawings don't lie. Not even to promote a drama that has finished airing in 2009. And Korean showbiz is not known to market loveteams, right? So... what gives?
Shin Hye is still wary of me, I know and I can’t really blame her for that. If I were her, I would be, too. Especially in the situation we are in. I am with her but the whole world doesn’t know about it. I tell her I like her but I cannot even mention her name publicly without getting death glances from my management team. I know her intimately but I cannot even refer to her informally, always cautious to address her as Park Shin Hye-ssi, like she is just some stranger I met on the job and not the girl who is constantly on my mind every day.
She doesn’t trust me that much yet and I don’t take offense on that, either. She has a trusting heart and I know she trusts me as a person but not as the guy who can potentially break her heart anytime he wants to. You are just flirting with me, aren’t you, oppa? She asked me that the first time I tried to ask her out and I knew then that it would take some effort for me to win her heart. She is a sensible girl, always grounded, always seeing the world with her 20/20 vision and not in rose-colored glasses. And I admire her for that, I really do. She said she learned a lot about guys from her Appa and Oppa. For that reason alone, I have always wanted to treat her dad and older brother out for a round of soju and maybe let them teach me some tricks on how to deal with Shin Hye. But I am still mustering the courage to do that.
Contrary to popular belief (or my Eels’ beliefs), Jang Keun Suk doesn’t always get the girl in one snap of his finger or one flash of his smile. One concrete proof of that is Shin Hye. I did not get her to agree to date me that easily. No, not even when I have already kissed her a lot of times on-cam my lips practically knew hers already like family. Not when I flirted with her on set every chance I got, not when I repeatedly stole kisses from her, not when I let her boss me around and bicker with me like how I boss and bicker with Hong Ki. She said she thought I was just being friendly with her like I usually do with anyone. Like hell I did! I don’t let just anyone, or any girl, boss me around. I don’t let anyone get the last laugh over my own prank. I don’t waste my precious sleeping hours hanging around with a co-star. I don’t give my designer jacket to any girl just so she can cover her legs with it while sitting on a dusty stage. I don’t give back hugs to just anyone to say I am sorry for accidentally hitting them. I don’t lick cake icing off someone else’s finger everyday. I don’t take selca photos with anyone every time I am asked to.
I don’t normally drive to some girl’s house on winter nights and hang out there like a creepy stalker, waiting for the lights on her room to go off, send a text to say good night and drive off smiling goofily like the idiot I really had become. That is not me on lucid days. But I did that. I did all of those because of her.
Shin Hye said I won her over because of Omma. Omma likes her a lot she practically volunteered to help me woo Shin Hye. She is taming you, Keun Suk. That girl is keeping your feet on the ground and for that reason alone, I love her already, Omma loves to say. But I declined her offer, of course. My ego couldn’t let my mother court a girl for me. Ironically, however, it turned out that I would finally get the girl because of Omma anyway. Shin Hye told me she saw my sincerity through the fact that Omma heard a lot about her from me. You must really like me, oppa, for you to tell good things about me to your omma.
She is still clueless about how I really feel, isn’t she? I always ask myself that whenever I see her get surprised by little things I do for her like insisting to pick her up from her filming locations whenever I am free, deftly avoiding attention by using my friends’ cars and parking discreetly away from prying eyes. She always say that I really don’t need to risk attracting rumor-mongers by dropping her name in interviews or answering too honestly about her and me.
But I need to do that not just because I want her to believe that I am really serious about her, but also because that is what I really want to do. I want to wear my heart on my sleeves when it comes to her. I don’t want to bottle up my feelings any longer. If the world will know, so be it. If my fans will pick up on it and leave me because I am dating a girl for real, then so be it. The fans don’t own me and my feelings. I do. They don’t dicate who I want to like. My heart does. And my management be damned, but I will never let them confine me in a box and tie me up on a string like a puppet. They can package and re-package me for whatever they deemed fit for my career but they can never lay a hand on my private life. That is my non-negotiable.
My Asian Tour is a gift for my fans across Asia but it will also be my gift for you, I told Shin Hye before the tour kicked off to a start last January. I was still trying my best to get her to date me then and she was still trying her best to outwit my efforts. What do you mean, oppa? She was a little perplexed. Watch me, I answered with a mischievous smile.
From Seoul , to Taipei , to Beijing , Singapore and just recently, to Tokyo and Osaka
In every fan meeting, I always look forward to that one special moment when the gods hear my fervent wish and grant me the chance to say her name in front of my fans. Park Shin Hye-ssi… Shin Hye... I gamely answer every question linking her to me, describing her as generously as I can, hoping my words do justice to the real person I came to love. The fans can dismiss that as just a fan service for the promotion of Minamishineyo which has been marketed to other Asian markets aside from Korea and Japan
But Shin Hye knows better than that. Her amused, frantic, exasperated, giddy and surprised reactions at the end of every fan meet tell me that she knows the coded message I am trying to relay to the world.
That she is my yojachingu and I am her namjachingu.
6 comments:
yes!! my deity sister had written!! i like the honest feel to this. not fluffy. not saccharine. so i feel that this projected KS' real self -- the one that does dakchan poses and wonders of a low turnout for his encore FM. ;)
someday this cold war will end.
I've just read "Picture of you" in the forums, and now this... Honestly, I woudld think you two can read mind (and remotely too).. but these are too real, I do feel like I read his diary or hear he's talking to himself...
Great piece... ^^
Finally, Raine, I have been lurking in here everyday wondering when I will find a new piece. My prayers are finally answered. Thank you so much. The funny thing is this is the first website in my favorites that I open every single time I go on the Internet. If you and your writing sister update everyday I will be the happiest person alive. I also view you and Dottie's other sites everyday as well. It is just sad that the times we are on facebook together is far and between. I am not complaining though. I am just stating the fact that I admire both your works and I am a lucky person indeed to be in your circle of friends. Thank you. My gratitude is eternal.
Cool! :) This was fun to read. I must say that only recently I watched the video of the Melon Music Awards and that is what sealed it for me! His ecstatic and giddy behavior towards her on stage was surprising to watch. He couldn't help himself. (Even though it looked like she may have been a little confused by it. LOL) It looks like he LOVES to tease her and he loves to see her laugh. Which she always does when around him. They are cute to watch!
-Teana
for some reason, I have tears in my eyes right now. i blame it on PMS, and pangs of YB nostalgia.
raine, you've pratically mentioned half of my favorite sukkiehye moments. what can i say? you feed my spazzing frenzy.
we really are cosmic! about the same time you were posting thing, i think i told dot about shin hye wearing her heart on her sleeve. (= in your story, it's sukkie (you've always read sukkie better than anyone i know, haha!).
I love this couple so much, this is the fifth time I read it and still feel a bit sad about their situation. It will break my heart heart if they don't end up together, but I hope they do and it will make me very happy.
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