A Beautiful Mess

A Beautiful Mess

Few are the moments when Keun Suk would like to kick himself in the gut. Today is one of those. The moment his sleepy eyes land on the clock on his bedroom wall, he knows he is a dead man. 7:00 PM! He bolts up from his bed and immediately looks for his cellphone. Didn’t he set up the phone’s alarm to 4:00 in the afternoon before he took his nap?

The dead phone staring at him blankly gives the answer to his stupid question. Shin Hye’s face crosses his mind immediately and he curses himself loudly. Replacing the discharged battery, he dials Shin Hye’s number.

An operator’s voice picks up after several rings directing him to her voice mail. Great.  

He quickly runs to the bathroom and fixes himself up. He knows it is a futile case but as he brushes his teeth and splashes water on his face, he prays, hopes and begs that the hands on the clock are lying and that he is not just about to face up the dumbest mistake he has ever pulled through in recent memory. But when he overhears his omma calling out “Dinner!” from the kitchen, he knows his luck has run out for today.

Grabbing his car keys, an extra phone battery and his phone, he runs past his omma setting up the dining table. “I’m heading out, omma!” he calls out, dashing for the door.

~0o0~

Shin Hye shuts her phone off as she climbs in her brother’s car. She checks the time on her watch. 7:00 PM. Two hours of waiting is too much. The first hour was to give him the benefit of the doubt. It has been snowing all day after all and road traffic has been congested and tight. The second hour? It was just to satisfy her insatiable masochistic tendencies, she tells herself sarcastically.

And the jerk even has the nerve to turn his phone off! She can feel her heart starts to palpitate with annoyance, recalling how she repeatedly called him up when the clock struck 5:30 only to be greeted with a recorded voice saying his phone is either off or out of coverage. The little Pollyanna voice in her tries to remind her that maybe he was caught in a bind and that he has the perfect excuse why he didn’t show up but she brushes it off. This was his freaking idea! And it’s the eve of my birthday, for crying out loud! Her brain just can’t comprehend how he would just stood her up on  a cold, snowy, gloomy, day like this. And her heart, for once, is on her brain’s side with this. This is just too much for her pride and heart to handle on the eve of her birthday.

“What’s with the long face?” her brother asks. She has thanked her lucky stars that he has just finished his guitar rehearsals and was just near the area when she called him, asking for a ride home.

“I’m just tired,” she mumbles, trying to act nonchalant for her brother’s sake.

“Tired from drinking coffee? Was that a meeting you just had in there? But your manager’s not with you.”

She rolls her eyes at her brother. “There you go again, oppa. Answering your own questions,” she teases, sneaking a glance at him. “No, it was not a meeting. I was just… well, I just wanted to be alone for a few hours, by myself,” she explains. There is no need to tell him she just got stood up, right?

Her brother laughs. “Thinking about why you are getting older and older every year? Don’t worry, the wrinkles won’t show just yet. Wait until you’re omma’s age.”

She gives him a weak smile. On ordinary days, she would have loved to banter with her brother some more but right now, she is just not in the mood to trade jokes with anyone, even with him. She just had been stood up by Mr. Nice Guy and her blood boils at the mere thought of him. She feels awful, her pride is crushed, she feels like an idiot and she swears she could kill him with her bare hands if he shows up his face just now.

All she wants to do now is to treat herself to a hot bath, listen to music, curl up in bed and wait for this day and tomorrow to be over. Screw the happy in birthdays!

~o0o~

Keun Suk knows she won’t be in the coffee shop waiting for him this late but he just doesn’t know where to start looking for her. So he walks in, orders a cup, sits in a corner table and dials her number for the nth time.

Her phone is still off. She’s definitely angry with me now. He combs his fingers through his hair and reprimands himself for being too careless today. He was the one who asked for this date. When he learned that she would be working at an event on the 18th, he immediately made plans to celebrate her 21^st on the eve of her birthday. “Just be with me when the clock strikes 12 at midnight then,” he has proposed. He wanted to make her day special for her. After all it would be the first time she is celebrating it with him. They agreed to start their date with coffee at her favourite coffee shop then drive to a seafood restaurant at the outskirts of Seoul for dinner afterwards. The waiting for the midnight part he has carefully planned, too, but kept it a secret for her. He wanted to surprise her with it. But now… he laughs at the irony of it all. She really got her surprise alright. I just stood her up.

He cringes at the thought of her thinking just what a jackass he is for not showing up at the designated hour. He got here two hours late. Two hours! Even he himself would not have the patience to wait for two hours for a date. So why would she?

Where would she probably be right now? He wonders. Probably at home, he surmises. He entertains the idea of going after her but he decides to just let her anger simmer for the time being. He just has to plot what to do to appease her. If only he didn’t have to be so stupid to trust his tired body to wake up from a quick nap, he wouldn’t be in this mess. But he just came from a 6-hour taping for a show that morning and decided to go home at the last minute to pick his car and the stuff he wanted to use for his surprise gift. When he saw his bed however, he thought a 30-minute nap wouldn’t hurt and the next thing he knew he already missed their date.

He looks outside the coffee shop and sees the snow falling incessantly. He sighs anxiously. Will it going to be a long, cold night for the both of them? He certainly doesn’t hope so.

~0o0~

The long, hot bath managed to melt away the anger Shin Hye felt earlier that night but it certainly doesn’t diminish the annoyance she still feels towards him. She looks at herself in the mirror and she sees a sad looking girl on the eve of her birthday. So much for expecting this year to be a better one, she muses. The birthday blues, she still has it. She has been feeling it when February set in. And the fact that she has not been seeing Keun Suk as much as she wanted to has further dampened her spirits these past few days. She knows he is busy with his own schedule but she was expecting that he would at least make some time to see her more. Am I expecting too much? Am I starting to grow the ugly head of a nagging girlfriend? She asks herself. But darn it, today she has a perfect excuse to be mad. She got stood up.

She looks at her dead phone and checks the alarm clock on her bedside table. It has been two hours since she got home. Did he really just forget our date just like that? She turns her phone on to find the answer.

Six messages come in one after the other. One is from her manager asking why she is out of reach and the rest are from Keun Suk.

I took a nap and I overslept. I am sorry but I am on my way to the coffee shop. I’ve been calling you but your phone is off.

We can still have dinner if you want. Please turn on your phone, Shin Hye. I know you’re angry and my reason is lame but it’s the truth.

Are you home? I’m thinking of coming over at your house but if you’re mad…please, I want to make it up to you.

I’m stuck here at the coffee shop. I can’t move my car, snow on the pavement is too thick. I had to ask my manager to pick me up with his bigger car. Where are you?

I just talked to your manager. He said he can’t reach you either. If you really don’t want to see me now, just get home safely, okay? But I will still wait for your reply. Our date still stands.

Shin Hye snorts at the last message. Date, what date? He overslept. That was such a lame excuse to be a lie, she thought and feel her anger simmering a little. She knows how precious sleep time is to entertainers/actors like themselves. It is like water to a weary desert traveller. And on better days, she could totally forgive that kind of slight. But not today. Not that fast. Is this all you can do to appease me? Five text messages and you expect me to smile and go on with our date like nothing happened? Try harder.

Then a call from Keun Suk comes in. She picks up at the fifth ring.

“Shin Hye,” his distinct voice greets her. She hears a little meekness in the way he speaks her name but she dismisses it, refusing to be swayed.

“Two hours. I waited for two hours,” she tells him, her voice curt and her tone very formal.

He winces on the other line. When Shin Hye speaks to him formally and drops the ‘oppa’ in her speech, he knows she is awfully pissed at him and just trying her darnest best to be civil.

“Mianhe. I really am. I want to see you tonight. Please let me make up to you. We still got time,” he says, ignoring her tone. “I can pick you up right now. I’m still on the road anyway.”

“I’m tired. I just want to sleep. You know I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.” I will be working on my birthday, you idiot. I hope you remembered that before you fell asleep. She wants to see him, too but her pride is telling her she ought to make him struggle more, prove his sincerity more. This is just the perfect time to see how far he would go to make her feel important. She is not keeping her hopes up that much but hell, after being late for two hours on a date, he can’t really expect her to be won that easily, right?

She hears him sigh on the other line. “Can I see you first thing in the morning, then? Have breakfast with me. Please.”

She arches her brow at his request. “You just stood me up because you overslept. Do you think I would risk being stood up again in the morning of my birthday? Aniyo. No way.”

“I won’t miss this for the life of me. I’ll pick you up at 7. Or wait, let me give you a wake-up call at 6. Then I’ll pick you up an hour after. Fair enough?” He bargains, using his meekest voice. He can’t stand pleading desperately and repeatedly like this to anyone, much less to a girl, but he knows he did an awful mistake. And it is her birthday, after all, he reasons out to soothe his blistering ego.

Shin Hye remains skeptical at his idea but her curiosity and the eagerness to spend her birthday with him ultimately won over her better judgment. “Ahrasso. Do whatever you like. Walk your talk,” she warns him and hangs up.

~0o0~

At exactly six o’clock the following morning Shin Hye hears her phone ring. She lets out a smile when she sees Keun Suk’s name on her screen. “Hello,” she greets sleepily, keeping her voice low and unaffected like it is an everyday occurrence that he wakes her up in the morning.

“Happy Birthday to you,” he sings on the other line. Shin Hye smiles wider while she listens to his rich, manly voice singing to her at 6 in the morning. Wow, I could get used to this, she hears herself exclaiming silently.

“Thank you,” she says with a smile after the song.

“I’ll pick you up in an hour?” Keun Suk asks, happy to hear that the coldness in her voice last night is no longer there.

“Got it,” she replies warmly and hangs up. Happy maybe a little late but her birthday doesn’t really mind.

~0o0~

She looks at his sunken eyes and she suddenly feels guilty for being angry at him about last night. “You look tired, oppa,” she says worriedly, instinctively reaching out to touch his face with her gloved hand. The early morning is postcard-pretty enough to take her breath away on her very own birthday. Her neighbourhood is covered with snow and the guy she most wants to spend her birthday with is standing in front of her, holding a bouquet of red roses and a cup of her favourite brand of coffee.

“I just need to sleep but that can wait,” he says dismissively, handing her the bouquet and the coffee. “What matters is I didn’t make you wait, again.” He gives her the smile that could thaw the whole snow-covered pavements in her street.

She shakes her head in disbelief. “That smile won’t work for me today,” she wiggles her forefinger at him, keeping a straight face. “Try harder.”

He laughs. “I know. I’m just warming up.”

“So where you taking me for breakfast?” Shin Hye asks, sipping her coffee as he navigates the slippery road towards downtown Seoul.

“Somewhere special,” he quips, throwing her a sheepish smile. ‘But first, I have to show you something at the office.”

She scrunches her nose in curiosity. “Your agency’s office? At this hour? Why?”

He nods. “You’ll see when we get there. It won’t take us long.”

She looks at his face, catches the little mischievous glint in his eyes and sips her coffee some more. This better be good, she tells him silently, hopefully.

~0o0~

It is the first time that Shin Hye has ever stepped in Keun Suk’s agency’s office. The office is still closed and deserted at this early hour but Keun Suk seems to be keeping his own key as he deftly unlocks the door to the office and leads her in.

He ushers her towards a small room. “This is where we brainstorm ideas for my projects and stuff,” he tells her as he turns on the lights and switches the TV on. “Make yourself comfortable while I set up this thing, okay?” he instructs, motioning her to sit in one of the chairs. She waits with bated breath as he inserts a disc in the DVD player and turns the lights off.

Standing at the doorway, behind where she is seated, she hears him heave out a nervous sigh, “This is what has kept me awake all night.” He then turns the remote on and presses the play button.

“Shin Hye, annyeong,” the Keun Suk that flickers to life on the TV screen begins. “By the time you watch this I hope you are no longer angry with me. I know it was so inconsiderate of me to have missed our date because I did not wake up on time from an unplanned nap. But I did not do it on purpose. I am really sorry. I know I have not been treating you so well lately. We hardly see each other because of our busy schedules and then I still had the gall to make you wait for two hours, on a supposed birthday date. That is just unforgivable. I can give you valid reasons for acting like a total jerk but I know they will never justify the frustrations and the disappointment you feel right now.”

Keun Suk’s eyes are on Shin Hye as she stays glued on the screen. He wishes she could read her expression but with her back at him, he cannot see her face. He can only see how she tilts her head to the side and bites on her thumb as the video continues.

“I have actually made some plans for my birthday treat for you. After coffee, I would have driven you to a seafood restaurant outside Seoul for dinner. I also planned to be with you until midnight so we can do a countdown for your birthday together. But as you can see, I just blew up my own plans. I am not good in making apologies or begging forgiveness. I couldn’t even tell you all of these in person but what I do know is that I do want to always know what you feel, what is in your heart. I may not always make you happy but I don’t want to always be the reason why you are sad. What we have between us is important to me and I really want to make it work. I’m sorry for making you sad. For not being beside you when you need my presence. But we expected this, right? We knew it would be a bumpy ride somehow given our circumstances. But as long as you want to hold my hand, I will always enjoy the ride with you. Happy Birthday, Shin Hye.”

The screen has gone blank but Shin Hye is still sitting still, with her back at him. Keun Suk moves to stand behind her.

“I read what you wrote last night in your mini-hompy, just before you took it down,” he says, stroking her hair gently. “That’s why I decided to make this video message. I will always have a lot of things to apologize for to you, Shin Hye. When people will ask me who I want to date among female celebrities, I will always give other names. When they ask for my ideal type, the qualities I will enumerate may always not describe you. I will never be able to say I like you in public or let the whole world know that we are seeing each other or that you are the one making me happy these days. And for these things, I will always be sorry to you. But one thing I will never be sorry for are my feelings for you. They are real, not scripted. They don’t last for sixteen short episodes or get axed because of bad ratings,” he jokes, bowing to plant a kiss on her head. “It’s real, it’s mine and it’s for you.”

Shin Hye reaches out for his right hand, bringing it closer to her face. Resting her right cheek on the palm of his hand, she starts to speak. “This is the most meaningful birthday I ever had so far, Oppa,” she whispers in the darkened room. “I guess I have to thank you for oversleeping last night.”

He can feel the dampness on her cheek and he knows he has been forgiven for his sins. “I was so afraid I would oversleep again this morning so I stayed up the whole night doing just about everything to stay awake,” he confesses which makes her laugh in disbelief.

“Cinchia?” she asks, facing him with skeptical eyes.

“I have witnesses. Ask my fans. I was chatting with them until six in the morning. I wish I could tell them you were the reason why they had me for themselves at such an ungodly hour.”

“You tell them,” she dares him, teasingly.

Reaching out to pinch her nose playfully, he nods, calling her bluff. “In time.”