To Get Me to You
Shin Hye stares back at the pair of eyes looking at her from across the table. Framed by a pair of glasses, his calm brown eyes look intense and warm, still as gentle as she remembers them to be. Her gaze shifts down below his cheeks and finds the familiar dimples greet her as he gives her a warm smile. She feels embarrassed at being caught off guard gawking. She sips her cup of cappuccino to calm her nerves.
It has been a long time since she last saw him. More than two years, perhaps.
“Do I have something on my face?” Yoon Min Jae asks, obviously teasing her as he self-consciously rubs his head. Old habits never die, Shin Hye muses, noticing his gesture. Min Jae always used to do that when he feels a little awkward or embarrassed.
Shin Hye shakes her head, a little smile on her lips. “Aniyo, oppa. I’m just a little distracted by your crew-cut look,” she teases.
Min Jae bows his head, turning a bit red. “It will grow back to its normal length, you’ll see. I know I look like a big soondae that grew a face right now but every soldier looks like this back in the camp,”he attempts to explain with a straight face.
Shin Hye bursts out laughing at his retort. Soondae is the least thing she has in mind to describe Min Jae, with or without his normal thick mane of hair framing his boyish, handsome features. She throws him an aghast look, faking annoyance. “If every soldier looks like you then you just might be putting all idols out of business as soon as you get out of military service.”
He snorts, dismissing the compliment. “Making others feel good has always been your charm,” he says, matter-of-factly. “You really didn’t change.”
She smiles at him. He didn’t change a bit, too, she muses. Hearing compliments from others always make him umcomfortable. Always the self-effacing guy who dodges compliments like a soldier dodges bullets in war, Min Jae has really been one who is not comfortable about his boyish, good looks. He has always been shy, quite reserved to people he is not close with and very down-to-earth. The very attributes that made her fall for him.
“Well, you haven’t changed a bit yourself, oppa. They can shave your head off but they certainly didn’t succeed to make you look like an ahjussi.” She remembers that he used to hate hearing others tell him that he looks like a kid.
Expectedly, he grimaces. “Then, should I go back for another two years, then? Just to make sure the wrinkles and the fine lines from all those activities spent under the sun will finally show on my face?”
She laughs heartily. She feels good sitting across from Min Jae right now, hearing him crack a joke, looking at his crooked, silly little smiles, watching his little eyes disappear as he laughs. She missed this guy.
“When did we last see each other, oppa? 2007? 2008?” she asks, wondering out loud. “Time flies so easily.”
Min Jae fixes a steady gaze at her. “The day we broke up. That’s the last time you last saw me.”
December 2007 then, her mind reminds her as memories slowly come surging in.
~0o0~
It was a cold, snowy December afternoon when they both calmly let each other go, with Shin Hye clutching tightly the letter advising Min Jae’s drafting for his mandatory military service on her hands.
They were both sitting on the same spot they are talking now. It was a memory permanently embedded on her mind – the snow delicately falling outside the little café, the smell of cappuccinos and lattes permeating the air, the color of Min Jae’s scarf (brown and gold) and how smooth his hands were as he wrapped hers with his.
They had been dating for merely a year when Min Jae decided to enlist early because he wanted to get his MS over and done with before he pursues his plans to study abroad. Shin Hye understood his reasons but she wished he would understand her misgivings, too. She was in love for the very first time in her life with a guy even her parents approve of. She was happy with everything – her career, her studies, family and friends. She was 18 years old and the world was at her feet. Or so she thought.
But Min Jae had other plans which did not include her.
They met at a local church where Shin Hye’s parents regularly attend mass every Sunday. Min Jae is her older brother’s age and both guys became fast friends because of music. They were in the choir together and as their friendship grew, so was Min Jae’s fascination with his friend’s famous little sister whom he would see regularly at the church. The eldest son of a doctor and an interior designer, he was popular among the parents who always wanted to match him with their daughters and a favourite among the girls. His good looks and his gentle manners endeared him to everyone. Shin Hye was not an exception.
Min Jae, however, had one flaw – he was a dreamer and his dreams were big. He wanted to see the world. He wanted to be a surgeon like his father but he wanted to be the best surgeon in the world. He wanted to reach out to the poor and sick of the world, especially children. He wanted to join medical missions in far-flung places, reach out and treat every wound, every broken leg or bone to the best of his ability. He has a big heart. He loved Shin Hye but he loved his dreams and other people more.
So when the schedule for his draft finally came out, Min Jae did what he thought he knew was best for the both of them – a break-up.
Shin Hye did not have the time to protest as he laid down his life’s plans to her one by one. He wanted to pursue his medical studies abroad immediately after his enlistment then start his medical career doing missions everywhere, as long as there are sick, needy people who need his brand of health care. A noble vision, a commendable spirit to do a great cause – who could argue with that? Her broken heart barely stood a chance, that she perfectly knew as she saw fire in his eyes while he talked to her about his dreams.
“You were born to be a star, Shin Hye,” Min Jae told her that day, a quiet resolve in his voice. “I was born to heal. I will always be grateful that we shared something beautiful like this. But right now, it is best to stop and part right here while I can still let you go.”
Shin Hye cried silently at his words, too numb and hurt to protest. She thought she died that day as she sat there, listening to him talk for probably the last time. She didn’t even know how she got herself home and how she managed to breathe the days and weeks that followed. But she gradually understood. She knew how important his dreams were to him. They were more important than her. And as much as that realization hurt her, she held on to it as a reminder that she should learn to let go of him.
Min Jae loved her, she was certainly sure of that. But it was not enough to make him stay.
~0o0~
Keun Suk’s face deepens into a scowl as he hears her words. “This is a prank, right? Hidden camera?”
Shin Hye smiles at her boyfriend, who is sitting beside her inside his car, innocently. “Oppa, you heard me. I will meet Yoon Min Jae tomorrow for a cup of coffe and catch up on things before he flies off to Vancouver
Keun Suk looks at her, without a word. He wants to confirm if her eyes truly reflect what she says. Big, round eyes gawk back at him, clear and honest. He curses under his breath. She is serious, alright.
“A nice, little chit-chat with an ex-boyfriend is never okay with me, Shin Hye. And that’s final.” He silently reminds himself to not blow his top off over the issue. But this girl is seriously testing his patience.
She pouts, brows creased in confusion. “Why not? He was not just my ex. He is a friend of my brother, too. And I really want to see him before he leaves. I might never see him again.”
“Fine, then let’s go see him together,” Keun Suk dares her. “Or better yet, go get your brother and let’s all meet your Mr. Nice Guy together and have a group hug.”
Shin Hye calls his bluff. “That’s fine by me. My present meeting my past. Wow. That’s just every girl’s secret fantasy, oppa. That would definitely be something to look forward to.”
“You really love making a fool out of me, don’t you?” He is getting annoyed by the minute.
“I am not. That’s why I am informing you beforehand. Before photos of me and an unknown guy out on a date start circulating online. Isn’t that fair enough to you, oppa?” She detects the edginess on his voice but she thinks he is just being childish.
“Do whatever you want, Shin Hye. My opinion doesn’t really matter, anyway.” Keun Suk stares blankly ahead, his voice devoid of any emotion. He revs up the engine.
“Don’t be jealous, oppa,” Shin Hye coos.
“I’m not jealous. I’m just annoyed that you keep insisting how much you want to spend time with this guy. He just got back from military service. So? He will be leaving soon to live abroad. So what? I don’t give a damn care. The only thing that bugs me is this – why is my girlfriend so eager to meet up with a guy who broke her heart? So very eager that she doesn’t even care if she is hurting my feelings,” Keun Suk tells her, the faint humming of the car’s aircon punctuating his sentences. “That scares me.”
Shin Hye bows her head in remorse at his words.
~0o0~
“So, this is goodbye then?” Min Jae asks her, handing out his hand for Shin Hye to shake with hers.
“I hope to see you again, oppa,” she smiles at him warmly, her hand still shaking his and vice versa.
She laughs. “Let go now, oppa.”
“You have really forgiven me, have you?” Min Jae asks what he thinks is the obvious. If he had been hesitant at first to contact Shin Hye and see her for one last time before he departs for Canada
Shin Hye shakes her head. “There is nothing to forgive, oppa. Everyhting happens for a reason. We ended for a reason.” Him, she thinks to herself.
“Kamsamhamnida,” he bows his head slightly. “Whatever that reason is, it is for the best, right?”
“Yes,” Shin Hye agrees.
~0o0~
Shin Hye runs to the waiting black SUV parked at the curb and hops hastily in the passenger seat. “You came quickly,” she pants a little, steadying her breath.
Keun Suk maneuvers the car deftly into the traffic. “Lucky you I was just a few blocks away when you sent me the message.”
She looks at him, studying his profile as he drives and she sighs contentedly. You are definitely worth the heartbreak he caused me, oppa.
He glances at Shin Hye. “What?” he asks innocently at her. After their conversation in the car about Min Jae which ended with him getting emotionally worked up and Shin Hye bowing her head the rest of the long drive home, they never talked about the issue again. Until a few moments ago when he suddenly received a text message from Shin Hye telling him that the scary part is over and asking him to pick her up at the café where she allegedly met her first love again after two years. First love. The term still stings him but he is growing used to it. Everyone has a first. Shin Hye is no exception. He just has to deal with that…or him.
“Oppa,” Shin Hye starts to speak in a small voice. “I…I met him today.” She pauses to wait for his reaction.
He grunts with his eyes on the road, face expressionless.
“We talk about a lot of things. It was great to see him again. He said he wanted to see me because he had to tie up some loose ends in his life before he goes away for good. He apologized for the break up….” Shin Hye pauses again, clearing her throat and making sure that he is still listening to her. “For the break up that he initiated and wanted. And I said there is nothing else to forgive. All has been forgiven now. Everything is in their right place. I am happy now.”
“Are you really happy now?” Keun Suk’s voice is laced with uncertainty. With me?
Shin Hye nods her head vigorously. “I am. Everything happens for a reason, oppa. I believe that. And that break up long ago happened because of a reason. And,” she turns her head to his direction. “And that reason is you.”
His free hand grasps the one resting on her lap automatically, bringing it close to his lips, peppering her hand with kisses. “You’re mine now,” he whispers quietly, possessively.
She blushes at his words. She never thought belonging to someone make her so crazily happy. “I know,” she replies back.
“So don’t go starting affairs with guys from your past behind my back. Behave. Especially now that I’m currently on tour,” he warns her with a straight face.
“Ya, oppa! You make it sound like I’m really capable of doing that!” she protests indignantly.
“Just saying,” he shrugs off. “You’re always running around like loose cannon, always threatening to scare me off. I might as well have my territory covered and secured. You’ll never know.”
Shin Hye looks at him incredulously, dumbstruck at his twisted logic.
Reason number two why I fell for you? Your twisted sense of humor.
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