Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Free Falling

Browsing photos from the Japan FM, something odd stood out for me. Shin Hye's sad eyes against Sukkie's radiant smiles. I was not there so I don't know if it's just me and my hyperactive imagination doing their usual exercise, but pictures don't lie (at least, not the PS-ed ones). Fans like me can speculate all we want but we will never get the definite answer to our questions, won't we? So allow me to hypothesize. I have literary license to do that. 

 Free falling

Not again, Keun Suk flares inwardly as he scans the message on his phone.

“Thank you noona,” he smiles politely at his make-up artist, checking his reflection on the mirror.

He checks his watch. He has twenty minutes left before the show starts. He taps his phone absently on his forehead, deliberating on what to do. Then as his gaze falls on Keunsama’s broad back talking animatedly to a staff, a decision comes to mind.

“Hyung,” he taps his manager’s shoulder. “I’ll be at Shin Hye’s dressing room.”

What did he do this time? What did the world do?

“Oppa, let’s tone down the fan service a bit, shall we? Let’s just be professional about this. Thank you,” Keun Suk recites the message he received earlier to Shin Hye, his face searching hers, trying to be calm as possible.

She avoids his eyes. “You heard me, oppa,” she says pursing her lips.

“We already talked about this, right? A hundred times,” he tells her patiently. “We need to do this, Shin Hye. And trust me, no one will hate you if I sing a song with you onstage.”

She looks at her with a serious expression on her face. “But not too much, please. I don’t want people speculating about us after this fan meet. I know I said I would be okay for anything but…” she trails on, hoping he would understand what she wants to say.

He doesn’t. “Relax, Shin Hye. No one’s going to eat you alive. You see those fans out there? They came here for you, for me. Let’s just give them a good show, shall we?”

“Just promise me not to let them know about us. Not a hint.”

He smirks. “Watch me. They won’t even know the difference.”

She shakes her head. “I’m serious, Keun Suk. I don’t want you pulling a stunt onstage for me. No, please. Just stick with the script and the programme.”

A cloud passes through Keun Suk’s eyes. “So we will do another SBS Awards stunt, then?” he says, his playfulness gone. “That’s not possible here, Shin Hye. You know that.”

Her lips quiver. And his heart twists at the sight. “We made an agreement. You will protect me, right, oppa?”

He clenches his jaw, his eyes locking gaze with hers. Why is it so easy to say yes when he is lost in those eyes?

“I never forget that. But you still don’t trust me,” he says, unable to veil the little edginess in his voice.

She shakes her head in protest. “You know my reasons.”

I memorize them even in my sleep, he tells himself silently. You want to build a wall between your private and public life. You want to forge a career path totally different from mine. You don’t want to attract antis. You don’t want us to be constantly associated together.

“And I know them by heart,” Keun Suk points out, forcing a cheery smile. “But this fanmeet is all about Go Mi Nam and Hwang Tae Kyung, Shin Hye. The fans will expect us to relive their characters for at least a couple of hours. And we will just have to cater to that. Loosen up, allow yourself to have fun. Please?” he asks, begging her with his eyes.

She looks at him anxiously, still unconvinced. Still scared out of her wits.

“Listen, I’m going out there as Jang Keun Suk,” he tells her sternly, his eyes probing hers.  “And I’m going to reminisce with the fans about the drama. With you. I will do some fan service, maybe at your expense, maybe not, if I can help it. But I will not talk about the Park Shin Hye I know personally. I will not tell them personal things about you and me. No ma’am, I will never do that. Fair enough?”

“I don’t know, oppa,” she heaves a sigh. Her eyes are still anxious, he can tell.

He checks his watch. “It’s almost time. We can do this. You will love interacting with the fans, believe me. I’m here. I got your back. You trust me, right?”

De,” she gives him a little nervous smile.

There, that’s a start, he muses. He looks at her affectionately, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ll see you onstage then,” he says, giving her a beaming smile, before making his exit from her room.

He understands where she is coming from. He can relate to her fears. But can you learn to trust me more? Can you bring yourself to believe that I am for real? That I am not using you just to feed other people’s fantasies?

He exhales heavily as he waits for his cue backstage. I guess I still have a lot to prove to you, Shin Hye. But I’m not going anywhere, that’s for sure.

Fall with me. Let yourself go. I can be worth it, Keun Suk wistfully tells Shin Hye silently as the familiar melody of Still wafts into the concert hall.


Anonymous said...


PSH was most probably apprehensive for her very first FM and a tad nervous. Also, the fact that she is always afraid of the antis ire. But in the end I think she passed this milestone in her career with flying colors. Your FF as always is so close to the truth that it does not leave a line between fact and fiction at least for me.

Tita Girlie

maize said...

bi must've had the talk with sukkie, but sh and hk haven't had theirs. ff-to-ff talking.

hmmm, if her recent series of cyworld updates could speak, i think they sum up to asking for "apology" ... or "understanding"... or even "time"

let the storm come and let them be shaken if they must. but i hope they stay strong where it really matters ~ in the heart.

sukkie, for this... i am giving you 100,000 points. <3

shin hye, for this... i am giving you a hug... and a good tug. <3

SukkieHye said...

gv her sometime... she'll open up bit by bit.

tq Raine.. luv this!

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